When you think of the term introvert, what type of person comes to mind?  Shy, quiet, and/or anti-social?  Many people think an introvert is someone who does not like people, who likes to be by himself and is a person who kills a party. Someone who does not enjoy being in groups.

An extrovert on the other hand is considered the life of a party and so people like them a lot. They are very exuberant and very jovial. They can make friends easily and will always appear very forthcoming.

Actually both the descriptions are not fully correct. An introvert is not anti-social and nor is he afraid of people. An introvert is someone who enjoys his own company whenever he has to be alone. According to Jung, a psychologist, an introvert’s psychic energy is flowing inwards, an extrovert’s energy is flowing outwards. While the true definition of extrovert would be when a person feels energized around people.

An introvert does not need people, he can be happy with himself. He takes time to open up with people who are around and will not venture any comment unless he thinks it is necessary. He takes time to warm up to people, and he is comfortable with only a select few. He may/may not have adequate social skills, but he does not get nervous in company.

If an introvert is offered a picnic and a time alone with books, he would most probably choose the latter. Not that he does not or cannot be with people. He will go if that is what is required of him. He will also enjoy, provided the company is of people he knows. Or he will take time to warm up. That is, he will not have to be dragged to it.

An extrovert, if given the choice of picnic and an evening curled up with books, will prefer the picnic. An extrovert will be fit to climb the wall if he has to spend time alone. He needs people, he thrives in groups.

Pure extrovert and pure introvert is very rare. Everyone falls somewhere on the continuum of both introversion and extraversion.  People will have both qualities, with one aspect being more dominant.

So are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Do you look for inspiration and motivation from outside, or do you feel comfortable with your own company?  Being a total introvert can be a problem. If a person is totally an introvert, he/she will not want company, will actually develop anxiety at having to be in groups and will prefer to be left alone. He/she will need to undergo counseling to develop social skills and reduce anxiety.

Introverts enjoy thinking, analyzing and exploring their feelings. They feel drained when in groups, so they feel the need to recharge by being alone for sometime. An introvert will be comfortable discussing concepts, while an extrovert will not be so. An extrovert is able to make small talk, social talk, because he is able to talk and think, to carry the conversation forward. While an introvert will think and then talk. And he finds small talk a waste of time.

When a parent says his child is an introvert, most probably he means the kid loves to be indoors and reading. It is easy to label someone, without knowing the full significance of the term. A true introvert will not talk to anyone, will prefer being alone, so you have to see if this applies. If a child prefers his own company, prefers to read rather than play, or enjoys solitary play, it would be too soon to label him an introvert. How does he fare on school, does he play with his friends, does he joins group activities, does he pay full attention to what the teacher is imparting, does he explain concepts to his peers, etc?  If he is doing all this, he is an introvert, but with some extroversion qualities. And it is nothing to be alarmed about.

So please be sure before you label someone.  Because a pure introvert needs help and he has to be handled with empathy and care. An introvert who is shy, can be coaxed to join group activity and made comfortable.

Psychologists, researchers, etc are mostly introverts. Businessmen, sales people, and communicators are mostly extroverts. They enjoy being with people, are able to carry people along with them, convince them to buy their products.

If you are more an introvert and less an extrovert, and you need to be more outgoing, you will have to sharpen your social skills. Improve your communication style and make sure you are able to climb your career ladder. 

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