I have noticed this trend in some young people, who spout philosophy and are very idealistic in their view points, but do not incorporate them in their behavior. They will behave in a totally different fashion, almost as if the philosophy is for others, not for themselves.

I met a young man who was into a lot of rhetoric. He was full of how things have to function and how people should behave. He was himself rude, dismissive and full of arrogance. He did not care of anyone, did not feel anyone is worth respecting and was generally quite rude.

He told me he is a very frank person. He would speak his mind and if that hurts others, just too bad.  When he feels someone is at fault, he will say it. The other person should accept it.  But if someone is rude to him, he cannot and will not tolerate it. Dichotomy.

He was always admonishing his girl friend saying she was unnecessarily losing money because she was reporting late to office. She was punching in late and so was losing a part of her salary, since it was going under loss of pay. He then came out with the statement, when one person works, he/she should be responsible, and should respect the office rules.

Money is important and the income has to be saved for the future. But he is unable to keep a job for long. He has been switching jobs, on one excuse or the other. He does not have any saving, (if there is income, there can be savings)! Dichotomy.

He also advised his girlfriend on saving for the future. He felt she was not mature enough to handle money, she could earn it, but does not know how to spend it!  So he was handling her account. She had no problem with it, I wonder why? He is talking about saving for the future, but he is not contributing towards that future. He does not earn regularly, for him to contribute to future savings. Dichotomy.

He is of the impression that girls have to listen to men. Men are mature, they are responsible and they can take right decisions. So women should always defer to men. He is very sure of his rights. But what about his duties?  What about the fact that being a man he should be taking care of his girl?  He should be the provider, should make sure she is fine.  Dichotomy.

He says one thing, does something else. And he feels justified in his behavior. He is not willing to change his attitude and his style of communication. He feels he is only responding to what others say, and one can respond only in this fashion. He does not feel change for self is necessary. He is willing to change if and when the others change.

He says he does not like depending on others, especially family or relatives for any help. Especially for monetary help. But it is ok for his girl to have all her needs met by her father. Since she is earning, she can pay for her expenses, she should in fact, but he wants her to save her income. If she spends money on herself, there won’t be much left over for future. So here taking father’s help is fine, not spending her own income, but what happens to his dictum, “no help from others”?  Dichotomy.

He will not tolerate anyone saying he has done or said anything wrong. He will insist on giving his explanation, the other person has to listen. He justifies his action, even though it is not acceptable for the other person. But he will not give the other person a chance to clarify. When he pronounces a statement about someone’s wrong behavior or words, it is perfectly right. There can be no other explanations and there is no way that person can justify his/her behavior or words. Dichotomy.

Will this person ever change?  When he does not feel his style of communication and behavior is unsuitable, then why will he change?  He does not understand the fact that it is not about right or wrong. His style is not making things pleasant. There is unpleasantness all round, he rubs people the wrong way, and he is unable to stop arguments with his girl friend. So it is inappropriate attitude. If he were to decide to change, and go about it consciously, he can improve his relationship and his career prospects.

He hates to admit he is wrong. So he is unwilling to bring about a change in himself. That is why he says he will change if and when others change. He does not realize all he has to do is bring about a shift in his thinking process. Different situations require different set of responses. When one set of response is not helping, communication is stuck, then it is better to think differently. Look actively for other responses that could be appropriate.

He is going through life trampling on everyone’s feelings.

(1 votes, average: 2 out of 5)

 Loading ...