If the divorce is mutual, then the pain is not there much. There will be disappointment, and some readjustment to be made, but on the whole the burden will be shared. Even the responsibility of bringing up the children will be shared. The partners in marriage cannot get along for various reasons, so they decide to part and start their lives all over again. There is no bitterness and so they may remain friends.
But when the divorce involves mud-slinging, accusations and vengeance, then the situation is different. The process of divorce will be ugly, and when there are children involved, they will be used as weapons. The partners will be so bent on damaging each other, that they will not see the damage they are inflicting on their children.
The months after divorce will be filled with anger, denial, and it could be followed by depression. There will be lots of readjustments to be made. A woman who is divorced will face lots of problems in society. If she happens to be young, then she is considered fair game. She will have to take care of herself, her children as well as fight off the so called good Samaritans who, in the guise of helping, will ultimately want only to exploit her.
Divorce at any age is unsettling. And if children are involved, it can be traumatic. The children will have to be handled with care. When they are small, they may think they are at fault, so the divorce happened. They are somehow responsible for the breakup of their parents’ relationship. They can go into depression and they will need extra careful handling. If the children are older, then the constant fights preceding the divorce will scar them for life. They will find it difficult to form long lasting relationships.
When a woman who undergoes divorce has family support, then she will be able to face the situation better. Till she learns to stand on her feet again, she can take support of the family. If the divorce is inevitable, then the family should support her completely. The family must give her emotional, physical and psychological support.
A woman faces more problems after the divorce than a man. She will not want to give up her children, however difficult it is going to be after divorce. There are very few men out there who want to take on the responsibility of raising another man’s children. Most times she may prefer not to marry. Then it becomes her responsibility of providing a good home, education and moral, psychological support for her children. If she has not been a working woman, she will have to take on a job, manage the house single handedly, and take on the role of a single parent. It is always tough to be a single parent.
She will be afraid to entrust her emotions to another man again. She will have to handle her emotional needs herself. She will have to be doubly careful when dealing with people. There will be any number of them waiting to find fault, take advantage of her. Physical security does become a problem. And if she has daughters who are older, their security becomes paramount. She will always have to be on the alert. Remarriage is an option, but how many women opt for it?