A young girl, with a sigh, told me she is in love. She loved a young man and was sure he too loved her. She had met him while with common friends and she found him cute. She wanted to meet him more often and was looking forward to the next group meeting.
I asked her to define love; she told me love gives her stars in her eyes. She finds everything rosy, she wants to cuddle soft toys/puppies/infants. She says she knows she is in love.
It could be the first flush of romance. Hormones are raging, the opposite gender is suddenly discovered to be interesting. Generally such feelings rarely lasts.
So what does love actually mean? What defines love? I came across these explanations and decided to share.
When you find someone gorgeous, you could fall in love. But this love is at best infatuation. This type of love happens in teenage. Or when you develop a crush on a favorite celebrity. This lasts for some time, but it will fade as one faces different experiences in life. This love depends on the physical/ financial aspect of the person. If the person in question meets your expectations of a typical male/ female figure, then you will feel attracted. You will want to meet and spend time with this person.
Sometimes the person will be even beyond your reach. But the feelings will be genuine. Such feelings are short lived, as life often teaches.
Some people stay in relationships because they think it is wrong to leave the person, or others indicate that it is wrong to leave the person, then this love is mostly compromise. Not love as such.
Many end up in such relationships and feel frustrated. Such people are living on opinions of others. They feel duty bound due to some help rendered, family obligation, or because strictly there is no reason not to love this person. At least not apparent to others. But the person enduring this compromise will know and be frustrated with suppressed feelings.
Then some people are so drawn to a person, he/she feels incomplete without this person’s touch. It is bodily attraction and the need to constantly touch and feel. This may be called love by some, but this feeling is lust, not love. This so called love can fade quickly and the person of affection replaced by someone else. A very short lived feeling.
When one feels she/he cannot leave this person because it would hurt that person’s feelings, this feeling is called charity. You are doing a great harm to the person and to yourself by staying on in the relationship. It would hurt that person for a short while when he/she is left, but this person will find someone who loves him/ her genuinely. Just for being himself/herself. And by staying with a feeling of charity, you are preventing this person from finding true love.
There are relationships that last due to the fact that there is a comfort zone. This feeling is mistaken for love, while it is strictly friendship. One is able to share everything with this person, and there are no ripples. Here true love will not be felt. The conflicts, misery, joy, pouts, waiting for attention, the sexual intimacy will all be missed. Though many settle for this kind of relationship.
For some love means security, companionship, I am not alone, etc. Love can mean that you understand the other person’s pain. You are able to cry for the person, with the person. If you feel the pain of the other person, more than him/her, that is called love.
Love also means you accept this person unconditionally. You are aware of the flaws, but his/her positives keep you glued to the person. You may find some other person attractive, having a couple of better qualities too, but you still stay with your person of choice. Attraction can happen, but leaving it at that level will not harm the relationship.
You love being seen with this person. You love being with him/her. You have no regrets for your choice. Such love also reflects respect. There is trust and this love matures well.
Sometimes, those who are in love cannot be together. For reasons beyond control, or explanation, your beloved needs to go away. It could be going away due to the fact that your love is not accepted by family. The other person may or may not form another relationship. And you may also know the other person does not want to go, but has to go. You allow him/her to go. It is a decision made with love.
There are several such stories where couples in love have had to part. There may not be a chance to reignite the love later. But the letting go happens, nevertheless. This is also love. It hurts, it can be suffocating. But true love does not have boundaries nor restrictions. There is no condition, only love.
Love is universal, and romantic love can make a person grow overnight both emotionally and mentally. Love can be cruel, but generally love helps one grow, experience all emotions and also makes the senses come alive. There can be sheer joy, a sense of comfort and also feeling of being blessed. A truly loved person is at peace with the world and is motivated to achieve great heights.