One young lady wanted to marry a person who is better educated than her and earning more than her. She got married to the person selected by her parents. She found out her husband was not as well educated as she expected and his earning too was not very high. Not to her standards. She felt cheated, though the young man was not aware of her expectations.
His position was not hidden from her family. Why they chose to gloss over his education and earning, he has no clue. Or the girl had not made her expectation clear. She could have looked at his profile, and rejected it if it did not meet her standards. Why she did not do this, is not really understood.
She has not really bonded with him and he found he could not please her. He was confused and things became clear after she disclosed her expectation. That too she revealed her expectation after a year of marriage. He is miserable and wants to know how to proceed. She is totally angry with him and holds him totally responsible for her hopes being dashed.
Another young lady wanted to have a great marriage. For her the meaning of great marriage was going for parties, shopping and generally enjoying life. How would all this be possible? What about home and family? She ended up marrying a banker who was not really into spending money. Soon after marriage she had two children. So she started feeling disappointed.
She felt tied down to the house and miserable. Her only high point was when she visited her parents. She would leave her children with her parents and go out. If she had only analyzed her position. Looked at the plus points and learned to adjust, she would have been less disappointed. She could have gotten a job, she could have gotten her spending money. She has become depressed and a shell of her vibrant old self.
Another young man felt he had chosen a great career option. He had worked out the advantages of the course, the job opportunities were great once he qualified. Unfortunately, the prerequisite of the course was communication and people interaction. He is not comfortable talking to people, he becomes anxious. He lost valuable time understanding this and by the time he eventually settled in a job, he felt he had become quite old.
In the process of settling in a career, he had not focused on his need to marry. Now that he can, he is not sure. He made a wrong decision regarding his education and career, he feels he could go wrong with his marriage decision too. He is disappointed he has not settled in life in spite of having all opportunities. He had planned his life, he is disappointed his plan has gone haywire.
There are several parents who convince their children to take up certain streams in engineering. They convince their children the job prospects are great once they clear the examinations. But the children find they have no aptitude for the particular stream. They end up with arrears and parents are disappointed. Their visions of seeing their children in a particular field of work is not fulfilled.
Disappointment does happen in life. One needs to learn to handle it. Can one have a great life without any conflict or disappointment? Is such a life vibrant? How can one go through life thinking only positives will happen? And when negatives arrive, one could end up stressed out. When you learn to be resilient, you will bounce back.
It will help if you can count your blessings. Keep adding to the list and see what a difference it makes to you mind. When you get disappointed, do allow the feeling to wash over you. The sooner you finish experiencing it, the sooner it goes away.
If disappointment leads to depression, then there is a problem. And when one disappointment stops you from taking decisions, then in a crisis when you need to decide, you will develop anxiety. You will try to make sure you have taken all factors into consideration. You will agonize over each factor, but not be able to move ahead.
When you feel your life has been pushed into an area where your expectations are not being met, you have to analyze and see if you can re-examine your expectations or not. Because being rigid is not going to help. You will feel stuck. Like the lady who felt disappointed her marital life did not turn up the they she wanted it to. She felt she was denied small pleasures and she envied others their lifestyle.
The young lady who feels disappointed with her marriage, and blames her husband, needs to decide to carry on the relationship or not. Why stay unhappy, blame him and make him also miserable? She can move on and allow him to find a suitable partner too.
Rising above situations is resilience. You need to have a platform of happiness, where you return after every experience in life. Life does toss you stress, anger, sadness, disappointments, loss, depressed feeling, etc. Do not allow your life to be engulfed by such negative feelings. Turn these negative feelings into short stay stations, and proceed to your platform of happiness. Let that be a huge junction, enjoy the stay. This stay will rejuvenate you to face other negatives.