A married couple almost divorced. They found they could not see eye to eye on several issues. The strain was getting too much and they almost decided to part. What brought them up short was the fact that they have two young kids. They realized they could not take the step of parting. The children would be affected.
Each is a strong personality and so expected the other to back down. Each has a demanding job and could not have a time schedule. Each felt the other was not contributing enough for the home, in terms of time and nurturance.
So they had a long chat and decided to have new rules in the relationship. There would be no arguments, there would be no conflicts. On parenting they would be united and otherwise they would go their separate ways. Emotionally they were not dependent on each other and decided to respect each other’s profession and need for space.
This pact seems to have worked well so far. They still are a family, the children are not really affected. It is better than seeing their parents’ divorce. Though they have decided to give each other space and are not emotionally dependent on each other, they are not looking for emotional relationship outside too. They are true to their commitment towards the children and so they do not want any unnecessary hassles.
They are fine with living in this fashion. The children are still young. What happens when they grow up and become adults themselves? When the children embark on their own life’s journey, will this pact hold good? Will they have got used to living like this, or will they then decide to part and go their separate ways altogether? Or will the years of living together like this form its own relationship and will they find fulfilment here? Will this develop into a comfort zone and will they loathe to part?
A relationship can be on so many levels. There could be frustrations, conflicts, irritations, blame games, cold communication, the atmosphere can be stormy/cold or have intermitten rains, etc. Some relationships do have oasis of peace, broken by stormy nights. Certain relationships will have high temperature on one side and utter chill on the other. There exist a number of relationships that have a society bond, but the partners go their separate ways. There are no explanations asked/given, no regrets, or guilt and no blame game.
There is no perfect relationship. There could be undercurrents, that blow the lid some day. Yes, there are many marriages that have completed twenty five and fifty years, but to say they were all smooth and perfect, would be stretching the truth a bit.
In the midst of all this, if the couple is strong on commitment, then a balance can be achieved. And that is what nature is all about, balance. Only a balance can avoid chaos and devastation.