A client came to me with anger issues. He actually told me he was having trouble concentrating on chanting. It was at first confusing hearing him talk. He told me he was into chanting, he was able to concentrate totally, he could hear his voice loudly chanting and he felt light when this happened. But after a month, he was not getting this feeling, so he stopped chanting.
He told me he had taken up chanting to keep himself calm. He was disturbed in office and wanted some peace. What type of problem did he have? He said he was too timid, he was being taken for granted. He could not assert himself and so he felt he was losing out on so many things. He also felt he was being discriminated against.
He told me he is a sincere and hardworking person and so he felt very angry when he was taken for granted. He would lose his temper and shout. He told me he did apologize later, but would again lose his temper. I asked about his family and he told me his mother would lose her temper often. When I asked him if he took after her, he paused and then said yes. He sounded pleased at this comparison, since he loved his mother so much.
I asked him to read up on assertive communication. He also told me he did feel anxious. I suggested an assessment if he was unable to control his anxiety. He flatly refused to consider any medication. He is looking for answers for his vague questions. He spoke disjointedly and kept darting from on topic to another. Many of his lifestyle behaviors, he expected me to know.
I taught him breathing exercise, and suggested he work on his assertive communication. He basically wanted communication tips, he wanted to be able to convey himself seriously. He felt he was not being taken seriously. He also wanted to control his anger. I do not know his social skills. He is in his late thirties and not married. He felt it is better to take the spiritual path than marry. And now that he is not able to concentrate on his chanting, he is disturbed.
Why his parents have not got him married? He seems to be a timid person, maybe due to the anger bouts of his mother? His father is indifferent, he says. So can you imagine the family atmosphere he grew up in? A mother who needs to nurture is always angry, and a father who needs to guide is indifferent. The only strong emotion he feels is anger.
He told me he could not afford counseling, and he would not take any medication. He walked out with the tips on assertive communication and breathing exercise. I do not think he will return. It is a pity, I could have worked with him on his communication style. But sometimes, best intentions are not rewarded. We counselors do get clients who do not want to be helped. Why? They have their own reasons.