A young man and woman are in love. Both are working, both are well educated and earning well. Initially the girl was hesitant, but the boy managed to convince her. Her parents too met the boy, and they feel this alliance can work. Based on her parental approval, she decided to go ahead and accept his proposal.
He was confident his parents would accept. But he was in for a shock. They are totally against this alliance. I do not know if they have even met the girl. The youngsters belong to two different caste, and that is enough for the parents to object.
The girl is obviously shattered. She had already started to visualize her marital home and was looking forward to spending her life with him. He too is terribly disappointed. He tried to convince his parents, they remain unconvinced. And when he pushed, they have threatened suicide.
He is not sure they will commit suicide. But he is not willing to risk it. He is caught in a bind, he loves this girl but finds himself unable to marry her. Surprisingly this girl is very understanding. She said if she was faced with the same dilemma as the boy, she too would consider withdrawing. The youngsters are showing love and respect for parental wishes. The parents on the other hand are placing more importance on caste. A pity.
They are yet to take a final decision. I suggested they talk it out as adults. Discuss the options they have. If he feels he can convince his parents, he needs time and she is willing to give him time, they can wait. They are for parental permission for marriage.
What the parents are not understanding is for a marriage to be successful, there should be good understanding between the couple. This understanding is evident here. And these children are willing to wait and also part if their parents do not give permission. This shows their love and devotion to the parents and the parental wishes. It would be so nice if the parents too reciprocate.
If they see the girl, they would maybe realize she is suited to their son. What are the factors needed for compatibility? Similar educational background, similar social background, the attitude and personality of the couple, career prospects, and such. When these factors are present, considering the proposal shouldn’t be too difficult.
Unfortunately factors other than these take precedence. The belief systems, and importance to what society and relatives will say, all these take on significance. In the bargain, young people’s wishes and feelings get ignored.
There are many parents who place the feelings and emotions of their children uppermost. When they have confidence that their children will make informed decisions, they will agree to their choice of life partner. Besides when love happens, children do not listen to reason. It is left to the parents to look at the significant factors and parameters and suggest their opinion. This will earn them the undying gratitude of their children.
When youngsters are willing to let go of relationship because they do not wish to hurt their parents’ feelings, they have to be cherished. They are not being self centered or selfish and are putting their parents’ feelings before their own. Such children are more responsible, mature and have empathy. Why not give in to their wants and see them flourish with happiness? Their love and devotion will double and the parents will benefit from this.
The girl is preparing to call it off. She is hurt and in pain. But she understands her boy friend’s position. She is willing to accept that this relationship may not happen. I hope over time this youngster’s parents come to accept their son’s love. The young couple deserve to be together.
Life can be cruel to lovers sometimes. Here it is the parents who are being rigid.