When love is in the air, it is a beautiful experience. And watching lovers is also beautiful. The way they are unaware of the world that is watching them, the way they are immersed in each other, and they way they share things, can be amusing to watch.
I was in a restaurant the other day. I happened to look around and found a couple, obviously in love having some coffee. They had ordered some dishes too, and I happened to see the young man feed his lady love. I mentioned it to my niece, and she said so what? She thought I was complaining, far from it. I found it very amusing, the lady surely knows how to feed herself. But lovers do the obvious like they are doing it the first time.
It is a natural feeling, this love. It does hit a majority of people. If someone says he/she does not believe in love, then I say he/she does not know to appreciate beauty. Love can be fulfilling, it can heighten your sensations. Suddenly all things come alive, all colors are sharp. You will find beauty in something as mundane as a mop. You could break out into a jig with it!
Being a counselor, I come across a lot of love stories where the youngsters are having emotional pain. And it is a surprising trend now a days to hear youngsters say they fell in love with a voice. Yes, over the phone. This really surprises me. How can someone fall in love with a voice? Ok, the voice can be beautiful, but what about the owner of the voice? Don’t you want to know anything about him/her?
I think this trend is due to the advent of mobile phones. People are more connected and they do not need any supervision. Numbers are easy to come by and normally boys have the habit of calling and trying to impress the girls. They get the numbers from other friends or family and hit on the girls.
One girl told me she fell in love with a boy because he sounded very good and he also confided in her that he was yearning for love. He did not have any one to care for him. His family members never bothered to ask him if he has eaten, he feels lonely. A standard piece of dialogue. But this particular girl felt sorry for him and decided to give him the love and care he so wanted.
He had managed to hit her nurturing side and soon they met. They would have met a few times, but mostly their love was expressed over the phone. He did appear to be lonely, without friends, but soon he found a good circle of friends and started to neglect her. She was shattered, she had invested a lot of emotions in this relationship and she started to feel cheated. He had reasons for not returning her calls, he was avoiding her. She has now decided to close this chapter and move on.
I asked her what lesson she had learnt? That you cannot love a voice, and try to know the person before you open your heart. Love is blind, and this is precisely why it hurts too. She is recovering and I hope will find true love sometime.
There are various such cases that have come to me. What is the harm in becoming friends first, and then proceeding to love? Why should a boy and girl only love, why not be friends? At least this way there will be less heartburn and parting will not hurt.
Does this trend reveal the gulf between the parents and the youngsters? Do parents not have time or the inclination to educate youngsters about the affairs of the heart? They are at an impressionable age, so falling for hooking statements is easy. The young boys too have to be taught that young love can be a crush at the most, and they can wait before falling in love. There is attraction, no doubt. That is why the initial contact is made. But before declaring love, they can be friend. Get to know each other and then decide whether they are suitable to be life partners.
They are growing, they are changing. When they form relationships while very young, they are doing it in a hasty fashion. As they grow, their wants and needs will change. They may start to feel constricted with the relationship and then there is the mess of breakup.
There is a stage between single and marriage. This is the stage to explore, and it can be done through friendship. Once you move around as friends, you will start being free with each other and there will be no pretense. When such friendships progresses into love, things will be smooth. The transition will be easier and the relationship will be firmer. The couple are going into the relationship with their eyes open, they know a lot about each other.
Mobile phone love, the chances are it will not last. I hope the youngsters realize this, they can save themselves a lot of emotional pain and anguish. Because rejection does hurt.